Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Anatomy of a fit. By: Noob

Good morning, people of the world. I'm guest-blogging for my mommy today. I thought I'd take some time today and show everyone the proper way to pitch a fit. Far too many people of my size are doing it all wrong, and the problem needs to be rectified post haste. Observe.

First, you lie down in the floor and get flat on your back.

Next, roll around and writhe as if in some sort of pain.

Now is the time when you turn onto your side and begin actually crying, or at least make the strong effort to make them think you're crying.

This is the point where you want to show your face and make sure your parent knows you're in the utmost distress. It also helps to begin saying "MOMMY!!!" over and over and over again. If you're going for broke, make sure to sound like you've been possessed by many demons.

Next, roll onto your tummy and assume the "Woe is me" aka "Nobody loves me AT ALL!" posture.

Finally, make sure to get a few good floor kicks in before your mommy speaks sharp to you and tells you to dry it up and go find something to do.

I hope this has been an informative tutorial for any attempts to get your way with your own mommy and daddy. I'll return with more helpful hints in the future. Until then, I remain faithful to the cause of getting your own way.

Sippy Cup Toters, UNITE!

Noob : )

Monday, March 15, 2010

Rescue me!

I went to church yesterday and got something out of both the sunday school lesson and the sermon. A Sunday like that is a rarity for me and I walked out with a fresh feeling within my heart and soul. The end of the sermon was what got my wheels turning about this blog post. The preacher told a story about a little rescued greyhound somewhere across the pond in England. The little dog's name was Jasmine. Jasmine was found in a shed and was malnourished and had suffered abuse at the hands of a human being. She was mistreated and left for dead by someone not of her own species. She was likely taunted and made to feel horrible, both physically and mentally. A police officer found her and turned her over to a rescue society. The society aids in rehabilitating many animals, not just dogs. Jasmine was eventually rehabilitated and, very slowly, learned to trust human beings again. The society began searching for a home for Jasmine, but eventually they realized that Jasmine could do more good for them if she stayed there at the shelter. Jasmine "reached out" to other ailing animals and was sort of their ambassador. Below are some pictures of Jasmine. Most of the pictures feature species that naturally have no business being in close proximity to one another.

A rabbit and a greyhound?! Usually, a greyhound is chasing a fake rabbit around an oval track.

Foxes and hounds? *trumpet blast* Tally-HO! Not here. Jasmine helped bring the fox back to health.

There are a few other pictures featuring Jasmine with a fawn and then a "group shot" of Jasmine, two other mixed breed dogs, an owl, the fawn and the rabbit. By all laws of normalcy, this should have been a frenzy. Each breed has natural enemy tendencies towards the others. Jasmine was rescued and rehabilitated and shared the love and mercy she'd been shown with others.

Now, think about this.

I call myself a Christian. I was once locked in a shed (metaphorically speaking, of course). Satan had me locked away and was doing all sorts of horrible things to me, with me and through me. Then, one day, a one-man rescue society showed up and liberated me. He took one look at me and had pity and wanted nothing more than to make my situation better. He plucked me from that shed and took me in, cleaned me up and rehabilitated me. What's more, he offered to go into the shed and take my place.

The man who was the one-man rescue society is Jesus Christ. He will pull you out of the woodshed and give you a better life, much like the policeman and rescue society did for Jasmine. It's now my job to show that love that Christ showed me. Just like Jasmine did for all those other animals. They didn't look like her, walk like her, "talk" like her or have much in common with them at all. She still showed them love. As a Christian, we (I) should show the love of Christ to those who don't look like us, walk like us, talk like us, live like us, live where we live, etc. God loves all of us and wants to see each and every one of us "rehabilitated".

If you're a Christian, are you living in such a way that will help someone else to get rehabilitated? I challenge you to think about it, pray about it, and see how God would have you respond.

Show the love, brothers and sisters in Christ!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Car seats: they're not optional!!!

It's taken me a while to calm down enough where I could write sensibly about this topic. I'm not going to apologize for the subject matter, either, because I feel so strongly about this subject.

I have always been one of those car seat people. I have always used a size and age-appropriate seat for all three of my children. Imagine my horror when I witnessed a child just over one year of age riding in her mother's lap as she departed church a couple of weeks ago.

I was leaving church and happened to be parked next to someone I only causally know. We say "Hi!" when we pass in the hallways and that's pretty much the extent of it. I've never even been introduced to her husband. She walked up to the passenger side of her car with her child on her hip. I smiled and nodded through my closed window because I was on the phone with King Waffle. I watched her open the front passenger door and sit down with the child on her lap in the front seat. I cut my eyes to the back seat and didn't even see a car seat in the vehicle. I stared in utter disbelief as her husband backed out of the parking spot and proceeded to drive away. All I could do was begin yelling at King Waffle, "Oh my word, they're driving away!!! They have their baby IN THE FRONT SEAT!!!" I had a short, fleeting thought that maybe they drove separately that day and that he was driving her around to her vehicle. The next thing I saw just floored me. They got out into four-lane traffic and still had the baby in the front seat. I can't even say for sure that I saw mom buckle her own seatbelt. I started towards home, completely stunned. Then, my conscience got the best of me and I made a u-turn. We attend a fairly large church and it requires that law enforcement direct traffic after church lets out. I pulled into the turn lane and motioned for the officer to come over to my car. He stepped over and I began to tell him what I'd just witnessed. He seemed concerned as well. I gave him their last name and a description of their car and the direction they'd headed. I later found out that the couple lives less than a quarter mile away from the church and that they were most likely already home by the time I reported them. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that the child was unsecured. The child is young enough that she needs to be in a rear-facing convertible car seat. I don't care how far you're traveling, a child needs to be in a car seat. They're made for a reason. They're made and designed to keep your child safe while traveling. It's likely that the car they were traveling in never exceeded 20 MPH that day. But, what if someone had rear-ended them? What if he'd had a momentary lapse in attention and he rear-ended someone else? In the first situation, it could cause the baby to hit the dash. It might not hurt an adult, but it could really hurt a baby. In the latter situation, it could cause the airbag to deploy and really cause some serious damage. I really want to confront this girl, but I want to do it in a loving way. I want her to never, ever, EVER have her child unsecured while riding in any vehicle. I don't want to be sitting in the service one Sunday morning and hear the preacher say, "We need to remember the ________ family. They were in a crash this week and their baby is in ICU with extensive injuries because she wasn't in a car seat."

Car seats are there for a reason. There are car seat laws for a reason. Both are to keep children safe. I still don't know how to approach her. I don't like confrontation and don't want to make things awkward for any future encounters. The bottom line is that I want her to keep her child safe. I don't want her to suffer the heartache of having to bury her precious daughter.

If I knew then what I know now, I would still have Noob in a rear-facing position even though she's three years old and 30 pounds. I would have rear-faced all of them until they were 35 pounds. Noob will stay in a five-point harness until she will not fit into one anymore. Poodle and Slick are in boosters; Slick still uses the high-back booster to help the seatbelt fit him as it should to offer him maximum protection.

If you're unsure about your state's laws, I urge you to check them out. You can find your state's laws at If your child will fit in a child safety seat, PLEASE use one. Find a local agency who can install the seat for you where it will offer the most crash protection. There are people who are certified car seat technicians at most police and fire stations. If none are there, they will be able to direct you to a place that will help you find the correct seat and make sure it's safely and securely installed in your vehicle.

I hope the cops found their house that day and gave them some sort of warning or a ticket for not having that sweet baby in her car seat. I hope I'll never see it again.

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