Good morning, people of the world. I'm guest-blogging for my mommy today. I thought I'd take some time today and show everyone the proper way to pitch a fit. Far too many people of my size are doing it all wrong, and the problem needs to be rectified post haste. Observe.
First, you lie down in the floor and get flat on your back.
Next, roll around and writhe as if in some sort of pain.
Now is the time when you turn onto your side and begin actually crying, or at least make the strong effort to make them think you're crying.
This is the point where you want to show your face and make sure your parent knows you're in the utmost distress. It also helps to begin saying "MOMMY!!!" over and over and over again. If you're going for broke, make sure to sound like you've been possessed by many demons.
Next, roll onto your tummy and assume the "Woe is me" aka "Nobody loves me AT ALL!" posture.
Finally, make sure to get a few good floor kicks in before your mommy speaks sharp to you and tells you to dry it up and go find something to do.
I hope this has been an informative tutorial for any attempts to get your way with your own mommy and daddy. I'll return with more helpful hints in the future. Until then, I remain faithful to the cause of getting your own way.
Sippy Cup Toters, UNITE!
Noob : )