Sunday, July 11, 2010


I've spent the last three weeks feeling pretty much every emotion a human being can feel. Anger, heartache, disbelief, sorrow, being utterly stunned, terror, fury, sadness, despair, uncertainty, betrayal, abandoned, depression. And those are just the ones which I can immediately and readily identify.

Conversely, I have also felt intense gratitude, relief, joy, elation, and finally, joy once again.

The bad sure seems to outweigh the good here. But, I'm learning to see the good in things, in situations, and in people again.

For whatever reason, I haven't been able to blog about what happened 22 days ago. Maybe it would make it too real and would send me careening back into all those earlier emotions again. I did write down what happened so I'd have a vivid record, but I put it within the confines of another internet forum where I feel safe.

Twenty two days ago, our house was struck by lightning. It caught on fire. Our belongings were mostly spared, excusing my washer and dryer. However, we had to vacate the place we called home for the past 19 months and will have to move to another house. It's been extraordinarily difficult at times to try and see anything positive or good from your house catching fire. You ask yourself "WHY?!" a half-million times and still don't have a good answer. I may never get an answer this side of heaven as to why my world got rocked so violently that afternoon. All I know is that every cloud (even the ones with lightning inside!) has a silver lining.

The past three weeks have allowed me to take inventory of the things and people who matter most to me and my family. Various people have helped in ways I never could have imagined. And that has led to the healing, and eventually, normalcy that I'm beginning to feel. I don't want to name names for fear I'll leave someone out. I just want you to know that I'm immensely thankful for things that have happened, both tangible and intangible.

I'm starting to feel like myself again, and it feels nice.


  1. I'm so glad to know you are on your way to healing; we've been praying for you. And I'm also glad that you are being so blessed by others. You are a beautiful person and in the grand scheme of things God has brought you through so very many things that this [some day, not now, I know] will seem like a very small blip on the radar. Your story is amazing, your heart is beautiful, your family is precious, and your God is miraculous! I love you, my southern Belle friend, and I can't wait to see what amazing good comes of this :)

  2. I am glad you are starting to feel like yourself again, because I happen to love your glittery, wonderful self. I am still praying for you, that you have full healing and are no longer anxious every time a thunderstorm hits town. Rest in the arms of the one who created the world. You never walk alone.