Not me

This is a copy of what I shared with my MOPS group this morning. I didn't mean to get all misty while talking, but I did. I think some of them did, too. I hope you'll enjoy my mini-testimony.


"I shouldn’t be standing here. If I were not a Christian, I probably truly would not be standing here. I’d probably be dead. But, nevertheless, here I am.

I shouldn’t be standing here for a few reasons. First, I probably should have been a statistic and should have died from harsh cancer treatments. One Sunday afternoon, twelve years ago, I really did almost die.

Secondly, I shouldn’t be standing here because I was never supposed to be a mother. I was never supposed to be able to have children. I was never even supposed to have another period due to the previously mentioned cancer treatments.

Third, I shouldn’t be standing here because back in 2006 I moved away from a 14 month stay in Alabama and I was NOT moving back to Alabama under any circumstances.

However, God is running my show and saw to do things a little differently than what I expected. I never expected to be diagnosed with cancer just after my 22nd birthday; I’d only been married for six months. I cannot fathom having to go through that whole ordeal without my faith in God and without countless prayers offered up on my behalf. People I will never know this side of Heaven prayed for me; some even donated blood for me. Specifically for me. Without my faith, I’d most likely be six feet under.

I never fathomed I’d be a part of a group of moms such as this. After all, remember that part about not being able to have kids? My body went into premature menopause for about a year during and after my chemotherapy. I had to take estrogen and vividly remember standing in front of the fan at work because I kept having hot flashes. I also vividly remember my doctor calling me at work one day and telling me that horrible news. That I’d never be able to have a child. You shouldn’t have to hear those words when you’re a month shy of turning 24. However, once again, God was in control and did things in His own time. Now, I have not one child, but three. They’re known to some as the Miracle Babies because it truly is a miracle that they’re even here. What’s more, they’re perfectly healthy. No defects, no mental issues, no abnormalities. I even had another confirmation of God’s grace just this past week with my oldest. My sweet Holly was tested for the gifted program and passed the test. If that’s not some sort of testament to God’s grace and healing capability, I don’t know what is. After all, that’s why we named her Grace. Holly Grace. It’s only by His grace that she is here at all.


Lastly, the part about even being in Alabama. We were moved to Albertville in January 2005 and stayed there for 14 months until Cal’s job moved us again. In hindsight, we probably should have just stayed where we were. In Alabama. But this Georgia Peach was eager to get back to that precious red clay. We said then that we were done living in Alabama and had no desire to go back ever again. In September 2008, we were presented an offer to come here to Birmingham. We hemmed and hawed and went back and forth because we didn’t have to go anywhere at all. The choice was ours. Less than a month later, I got an email that informed me we had 30 days to vacate. The owners of the house we rented were leaving Texas and coming back to their house in Georgia. We didn’t have to go to anywhere specific, we just couldn’t stay where we were. We had been praying and asking God, “What do we do?! Should we stay here in metro Atlanta, or should we just try Birmingham? At least it’s more metropolitan than where we lived before.” That email was our glowing neon sign to get the heck out of dodge. God knew He wanted us here. I wondered how we’d find a house on such short notice. As it turned out, my cousin knew someone that had a house for sale but was willing to rent it out to a decent family. My cousin vouched for us and we moved in less than two weeks later. No one but God could have orchestrated all that.

So, you see, I really shouldn’t be standing here. But, I am. And it’s all due to letting go and letting God run my life and the lives of my family."