Shift

Valentine's Day is this coming Sunday. I thought it'd be a good time to discuss love. However, I'm about to wade into very controversial waters here. I'm not hoping to alienate any friends by speaking what's on my heart. I hope and pray that you can respect the thoughts and opinions I'm about to share. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, it's just a shift in my thought pattern that's been slowly moving from straight-laced and rigid to something akin to melting a glacier with a match. Slowly but surely, I may get there.

Here goes.

A year ago, if you'd asked me about being gay and gay marriage, I'd have vehemently said, "Absolutely not. No way. Not cool."

Now, it's more along the lines of, "Well, maybe. Maybe I should be more receptive to the concept of love instead of who is sharing it."

I didn't arrive at this conclusion overnight. I really can't tell you any single event that occurred that rocked my world and changed my mind and my heart.

King Waffle has two sweet women who work for him. I've met them, had them over to my house and broken bread with them and, shocker here, I've even let them babysit my children. They call each other "Honey" or "Hon" or "Dear" or "My love". They are, in scientific terms, a lesbian couple. They are, whilst within my house, J and E. (No names to protect the innocent here, folks.) In about a week, they're driving from deep in the heart of the Bible Belt up to Iowa where gay marriage/civil unions are legal. Who am I to say they shouldn't be allowed to profess their love and commitment to each other in a legally binding ceremony? Last time I checked, only God through Jesus Christ can judge us. If they want to be forever committed to one another then why should a borderline Fundie like myself stand in their way? "Oh NO! They're ruining the sanctity of marriage! It's supposed to be one man and one woman!" Well, maybe so. In a perfect world, that is. I honestly don't know if gay people are born that way. I'm on the fence with the whole "Nature vs. Nurture" argument. I just don't know.

After they're joined together, they're wanting to adopt a newborn baby. The baby's mother most likely won't be able to give it the care it needs as she is already struggling to care for another child. "Oh, gay people shouldn't adopt! That's wrong too!" You know what? I'd rather see that child grow up in the presence of two people who love each other and are committed to each other, to grow up in a stable home, to have enough to eat and drink, to have all her needs met, to grow and to thrive and receive LOVE, than to have the child grow up neglected by its own mother. To grow up without enough to eat, without the proper medical care, without her basic needs being met, without a loving relationship on which she may build future relationships. It's just not right to deny ANY child of those rights.

So, I ask you now: should we put boundaries on love? I think not. Does God's love have any bounds when it comes to the stupid, rotten, wretched things we do? I think not. Day in and day out, I do stupid, arrogant, selfish, dumb things and God still loves me. Why shouldn't we extend love and, by proxy, our support to anyone who needs it?

Think about it.

I leave you with an excerpt from an article I read this morning. I've been mulling over how to relay my thoughts on the matter all week and asking myself whether or not I should even share this. When I read this paragraph this morning, I knew today was the day. The article is titled "A Conservative Case for Gay Marriage"

"Many of my fellow conservatives have an almost knee-jerk hostility toward gay marriage. This does not make sense, because same-sex unions promote the values conservatives prize. Marriage is one of the basic building blocks of our neighborhoods and our nation. At its best, it is a stable bond between two individuals who work to create a loving household and a social and economic partnership. We encourage couples to marry because the commitments they make to one another provide benefits not only to themselves but also to their families and communities. Marriage requires thinking beyond one's own needs. It transforms two individuals into a union based on shared aspirations, and in doing so establishes a formal investment in the well-being of society. The fact that individuals who happen to be gay want to share in this vital social institution is evidence that conservative ideals enjoy widespread acceptance. Conservatives should celebrate this, rather than lament it."